Ubiquitous Election Post, David Quinn and other stuff from Ireland

It was a busy and very exciting week, as we all know, with the US Presidential Elections happening on Tuesday night. I was glued to the TV (until 4am, when I became cold and sober, at which point I went home) and pretty excited to see Obama winning. While we can never be sure what a politician will actually do, he does state support for “full civil unions and federal rights for LGBT couples” and expanding adoption rights to give people fair consideration as parents, regardless of sexual orientation (see this pdf).

But of course, this silver lining came with a cloud for many Americans, with Arizona, California and Florida banning gay marriage (even though California and Floria both voted for Obama) and Arkansas banning gay couples from adopting children. Pretty bleak stuff, but sure the rights groups will be challenging the ban. Ironically, some have suggested that the increase in black people voting this year might have lead to the passing of the ban.

Back to Ireland, and the Catholic Church is again getting angsty about the Civil Partnership Bill.

“…Ireland looks set to repeat the mistakes of societies like Britain and the US by introducing legislation which will promote cohabitation, remove most incentives to marry and grant same-sex couples the same rights as marriage in all but adoption.”

Ah, if only he knew that if I was writing the legislation I would add in proper legislation to recognise families of same-sex couples. Ah well, at least earlier fears the government sidelining the Civil Partnership Bill due to the economic turmoil (of course, there is no recession) have been squashed.

And, following in the footsteps of Cardinal Brady threatening legal action when the Civil Partnership Bill is introduced, the ever-pleasant David Quinn has written another opinion piece, stating that he believes that the Government is launching a “direct attack on the special status of marriage”.

This got me thinking, why is it that opponents focus on the “institution” of marriage so frequently? An idea came to me today. Maybe the Catholic Church (in Ireland) has been feeling its grasp on Irish people slipping away gradually since the foundation of the State. Could it be that marriage is the final hold it has over society, and it will do anything in its power to keep from losing that power?

Or maybe it’s just that they don’t want marriage demeaned by giving it to the gays. Ouch.

PS: David, you erred in saying that there was a “lack of any real public demand” for civil partnership. To quote Moninne Griffith of MarriagEquality:

“It is high time that the lesbian and gay family unit, including children, are recognised and protected in Ireland. Indeed, 84% of the Irish population support civil partnership or civil marriage being made available to lesbians and gay men and an overwhelming 86% agree that children of gay and lesbian parents should have the same family rights as the children of married parents.”

 

Submission to Department of Justice regarding the Civil Partnership Bill

The following is a letter I wrote to the Department of Justice regarding the Heads of Civil Partnership Bill. It was printed in the letters page of the Irish Times on 30th July 2008.

Madam, – I am a 22-year-old man, living in Dublin and studying psychology in UCD. I was born in London, and have been living in Ireland for the past 13 years. I have a younger brother, Daragh, and two loving parents. My parents have been in a relationship for 28 years, since they were students.

In many ways my family are very regular; we have family dinners, we go to museums and we help each other out when the need arises. However, one detail leads to our family being treated dramatically differently. My parents are a lesbian couple called Ann and Bernadette, and in spite of their strong 28-year relationship, they are effectively treated as second-class citizens. I was conceived using sperm from a donor; there was no sexual relationship between Ann and the man who donated sperm, and I consider both Ann and Bernadette to be my parents, and both to be my mothers.

In many ways our family is lucky; my parents’ relationship is healthy, neither of them has been seriously ill and we have not experienced major misfortunes. However, if this had not been the case, and the family unit had broken apart, there would have been significant and unfair legal and financial difficulties regarding both custody and access to us, their children, and regarding passing money and property to us. As Bernadette is not my biological mother, there would have been a particular issue for her. Even now, with both Daragh and myself being adults, we are denied inheritance and succession rights to Bernadette’s property and wealth.

I am very pleased that the Government has begun the process of recognising my parents’ same-sex relationship, and that their relationship will be given legal recognition for the first time. This will provide them with security for the future, as well as provisions for inheritance, succession, etc.

However, as a son of a same-sex couple, I am very concerned that the Heads of Bill do not provide for them as parents. Neglecting this area leaves my family in an extremely vulnerable position, and I would be left vulnerable should anything happen to Ann, my biological parent.

The complexity of this area requires that a delicate approach be taken, but I urge the Government to provide the means of extending the rights and responsibilities of biological parents to non-biological parents. Bernadette is my mother, in emotional, financial and caring terms. This needs to be recognised by the Government, and provisions be put in place for the protection of children brought up in the same context.

Not providing legal recognition for Bernadette as my mother leads to many problems. If I were to be admitted to hospital, she would not have the right to visit me as her son. She would not need to be consulted or informed of any medical decisions made. Similarly, should she be in such a situation I would not have the right to be consulted either. There are no provisions for inheritance either; in the event of her death she could not leave me anything as a family member, and as such it would be subject to unfair inheritance tax. From a social point of view, not recognising her status as my mother is simply fuelling the stigma that same-sex relationships and parents are second to heterosexual parents, an idea not supported by vast amounts of research. It is for these reasons that I urge the Government to take into account families like mine, who are not currently given the protection and respect by the State they deserve, and the children of same-sex couples who need to be protected by the Civil Partnership Bill. – Yours, etc,

CONOR PENDERGRAST, Stillorgan, Co Dublin.

Feel free to contact me: conorpendergrast@gmail.com