Wow, it’s been a month since I put anything online. I need to stay on top of this more.

For me, it’s important to understand the driving forces and emotions behind other people’s actions. As a result of this, and in the spirit of intelligent debate, I have looked at and come to understand most of the arguments against same-sex families, some of which I can sympathise with.

Some opponents fear that same-sex parents might be ill-equipped at raising children, while others feel that they would not provide adequate male and female role-models. For the time being, I will simply state that the evidence suggests that this is not the case, and I will deal with these subjects at length in a future post.

What annoys me, however, is the language sometimes used in the various debates. My encounter with a woman in a radio interview a short time ago (unfortunately the recording is no longer online) highlighted this for me. Two phrases in particular irritated me; “Same-sex family experiment” and “gay agenda”.

 

I’ll deal with the latter phrase first. The term “gay agenda” is, to me, somewhat ridiculous. It would be akin to saying that there was a slave agenda, a black agenda, or a women’s agenda, or that today there is a disability agenda. The various movements over the years have sought for the same things : equality and respect. It’s exactly what I’m looking for now, with the Civil Partnership Bill (And no, I agree, it’s not nearly good enough). All that my family and I desire is to be treated equal to any other family in the State.

And of course the words “gay agenda” bring to mind another phrase; “hidden agenda”. If you didn’t already  know it, let me share a secret with you: there is no plot for the homosexual community to corrupt the children and take over the world. Sorry, but it’s just not true.

goggles and hat #3
Photo owned by fishermansdaughter (cc)

The other phrase, “same-sex family experiment” annoys me so because if my parents are seen as being the experimenters, then I am both the experiment and the product of the experiment. And who, honestly, wants people to think of them in the same way one thinks of a papier-maché volcano? I told my mother, Bernadette, about hearing this phrase, and she scoffed about it and said “It wasn’t an experiment, we just wanted to start a family”. This, I guess, is the crux of our story. My parents didn’t decide one day to see what would happen if they brought two children into their life. They weren’t looking at the variables and they haven’t sat down now and said “with Conor having survived until age 22 with no psychological scars, we can be 95% confident that he grew up in an environment as stable as a typical heterosexual family”.

 

microscope

Photo owned by xmatt (cc)

 

This family was started by a couple who were in love, and who decided to raise a family of their own. Is that so wrong?

————————————————————————————-

As always, your support and efforts are appreciated. From the humble comment to the supportive e-mail (conorpendergrast at gmail dot com) to an e-mail to the letters page of the Irish Independent or Irish Times, it all makes a difference. For more ideas, check out the What Can I Do page. And for everyone who has done something, much love.