Stuckinthemilli.eu

Well, last week was a lot of fun. I had 1001 hits on the website and got my (heavily edited) letter in the Sunday Times, as well appearing on Matt Cooper‘s show on Thursday with Brenda Power (audio here – mp3, 5.3mb). I read Brenda’s second opinion piece and don’t think I’ll comment on it further than what I’ve already Tweeted – It’s an opinion piece that is not based in fact and she appears to have some sort of obsession with the idea that marriage is purely for reproductive purposes. As I said:

“To have and to hold, is sickness and in health, til you die from exhaustion having given birth to 8 children.”

The past week and Damien’s post got me thinking – we need a louder voice of children of LGBT couples in Ireland. So, here we go. If you are the son or daughter of a LGBT couple and would like to maybe do a joint blog, with the chance of radio, TV, newspaper, blog interviews (depending on how comfortable you would be with them) please e-mail conorpendergrast@gmail.com, or add me on Twitter and DM me. Or sure just leave a comment here 🙂

Inevitably there’ll be cases after the Civil Partnership Bill is brought in that highlight the massive problems with neglecting children in legislation. This’ll be our chance to stand up for our own rights and demonstrate how lesbian and gay parents are equally capable of raising well-adjusted and emotionally and socially stable individuals. Here’s the American Psychological Association’s policy on sexual orientation and parenting (And no Brenda, it’s not a single study. You can find similar policies but children’s groups across the US, but because of the relative rarity of cases in Ireland and even the UK, there are fewer studies here).

Hello all,

Just a quick post to mention two things.

Firstly, thank you to everyone who posted a comment, passed on this blog or read it yesterday. It was the busiest my blog has ever been, with 278 views, and I feel honoured to have that level of attention. Thanks specifically to Gaelick, Damien and Angry Potato for the links. I’m sorry I haven’t been blogging as much recently, I didn’t really feel the twinge of desire to express myself until I read that article.

Secondly, I’ll be on Matt Cooper’s The Last Word this evening at about 6pm, talking to him and Brenda Power. Should be good fun, so feel free to listen in and text in comments. It’d be nice to get some support.

Dear Brenda,

I read with a heavy heart your article in the Sunday Times on 5th July and felt it necessary to respond in order to dispel the notions that you used to form your argument against allowing same-sex couples to be considered to adopt children in this state. Your concern for the rights of children in Ireland is admirable, but your arguments, ironically, serve only to stigmatise children of same-sex partners. As the sons of a lesbian couple who have been together for nearly thirty years, my brother and I are more than aware of one of the criteria in particular you specify in the adoption process; “the likelihood of social acceptance of the child”. My parents are not (yet) in a legally recognised relationship. According to the law, I am no more than a stranger to my non-biological mother, Bernadette.

Not allowing gay couples to be considered as adoptive parents and not recognising their relationships as marriage is not only inequality, it’s social stigmatisation. You are essentially stating: “You’re relationship is not as valid as a heterosexual relationship. You are of less value to society. You’re family and children ought to be treated differently.” This, in effect, teaches us that children of same-sex partners are not socially acceptable. The irony, you must see, is that by denying these couples the right to be considered to adopt because their children might not be accepted socially, you are deciding by default that children of same-sex couples should not be accepted socially.

Yours sincerely,

Conor Pendergrast

[I also sent this to the editor of the Sunday Times. If anyone has an e-mail address for Brenda, I’d appreciate if you could comment and let me know what it is. The article itself can be found here, with Panti’s response here.]