Jesus was like today’s vampire movies

I was at the L&H’s god debate last night, where the motion put was “That this house believes it is rational to believe in god” (well, according to some of the speakers anyway). I got home to find an e-mail in my inbox (well, several, but one of particular interest). Evidently Herself had found a Boards.ie thread about Jesus, the man himself. So, without further delay, I give you a list of characters who appears before Christianity and the common characteristics -

Gautama Buddha: born of the virgin Maya around 600 BC

Dionysus: Greek god, born of a virgin in a stable, turned water into wine.

Quirrnus: An early Roman saviour, born of a virgin

Attis: born of a virgin Nama in Phrygia around 200 BC

Indra: born of a virgin in Tibet around 700 BC

Adonis: Babylonian god, born of the virgin Ishtar

Krishna: Hindu deity, born of a virgin Devaki in around 1200 BC

Zoroaster: born of a virgin 1500-1200 BC

Mithra: born of a virgin in a stable on the 25th of December around 600 BC. His resurrection was celebrated at Easter.

Y’know, if I were writing a story about a guy I knew and wanted to make him seem like a kick-ass super-deity, I reckon I’d steal loads of these characteristics too.

So, just like we’ve seen a stack of vampire movies aimed at teenagers since Twilight came out, we also see a copycat effect of all those “deities” that preceded the character of Jesus. Dude, what a cheat! I mean, if you’re going to copy stuff from your predecessors, at least a) Don’t get caught and b) Make it something deadly that you steal! I mean, he could’ve chosen to shoot fireballs out of his ears or throw lightening bolts… but a virgin birth? Ok, turning water into wine is a fantastic party trick, but not very good at getting you out of stick situations.

So, what I’m saying is, this Jesus guy (or the guys who made up a story about some poor shmuck, who just had a couple of good ideas about being nice to each other, then turned it into an all-controlling tyrannical organisation) really should’ve made some better career moves. Out with the virgin birth, in with the fireballs.

 

The EU’s ‘Culture of Death’ and more

As reported in yesterday’s Irish Times, a parish priest has denied claims that he spread a “vote no to Lisbon” leaflet (although he doesn’t deny that he wrote and signed it). The leaflet claimed that the EU has:

“embraced the ‘Culture of Death’. Yet again, Europe has become a slaughterhouse. Millions of its own children have been slaughtered”

This is in spite of the fact that only 17 out of 25 members of the European Union have access to safe and legal abortion on request (data accurate to 2007 – pdf). As an aside, far more have access to abortion to save the life of the mother (all except Malta); Ireland’s laws prohibit abortion except in the case of risk of death to the mother. Not, however, in the case of rape, incest, preservation of physical or mental health, fetal impairment or economic or social reasons.

The real gem, however, is the quote at the end of the article, from Cardinal Tarcision Bertone, the Vatican’s secretary of state.

“If Europe recognised homosexual couples as equal to marriage, for example, it would go against its own history. And it would be right to stand against it. The Church wants to encourage states in this.”

The age-old argument of “we’ve always done it this way, why should we change?” emerges. Never mind that polygamy was also the status quo at one point, the institution that tried to cover up systematic child sex abuse, that instigates the oppression of women’s rights and that caused the death of hundreds of thousands of people in the Crusades also want you to live in a static age; one that never progresses or advances. The Vatican, apparently, feels the need to retain control over who you love, who you have sex with, who you marry, what contraception you use, what you do in the case of that contraception failing, what you do when you’re raped, whether you want to go through the trauma of a still-birth (in the full knowledge that this will occur). I think I would be more appalled if there weren’t people like CountMeOut.ie in this country, providing people with information on leaving the Catholic Church.

Ok, rant over.

On a separate note:

The UCD Secular Humanist Society is holding an event tomorrow evening in the Blue Room of the Student Centre. Michael Nugent, the chair of Atheist Ireland, will be speaking on the topic ‘Blasphemy is a Human Right’. All members are invited (if you’re not a member you can sign up there and then, for a mere €2). The event starts at 6pm. This is sure to be a great talk; I’ve heard Michael on the radio before and he’s got some great ideas. E-mail ucdhumanistsociety@gmail.com for more information, or follow them on Twitter.

Happy Wednesday

- Conor